Becoming a mother as an identity shift

I think about this a lot and would love to research about it more.  We’re such a transactional society with little consideration for these ‘mother’ things.

For me there was definitely a difference before and after kids.  Yet, we don’t plan for that – emotionally or practically, society assumes we need to continue as always, yet everything is different.

“Dr. Stern showed that becoming a mother is an identity shift, and one of the most significant physical and psychological changes a woman will ever experience.

The process of becoming a mother, which anthropologists call “matrescence,” has been largely unexplored in the medical community. Instead of focusing on the woman’s identity transition, more research is focused on how the baby turns out. But a woman’s story, in addition to how her psychology impacts her parenting, is important to examine, too. Of course, this transition is also significant for fathers and partners, but women who go through the hormonal changes of pregnancy may have a specific neurobiological experience.”

From The Birth of a Mother on NY Times.

One comment on “Becoming a mother as an identity shift

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    Of course it is different! I started to work when I was 14, completely living on my own by 16. I had my tasks, my budget, my needs and my wishes. I was my own boss. I loved that! I got my firstborn when I was 25 and it was shock. I expected him so much, but was not ready that I am not my own boss anymore. Needs of someone who could not talk had higher priority as my own. I struggles a lot, but I loved a lot and my husband helped me as he could. we made several mistakes, but today we have 3 kids and illusion that we are our own bosses again. yes illusion. because from the moment you hold your child till ends of your days, his/her needs are more important then yours. to accept that is part of being adult.

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